flow not force

Last week, I did my first ultra distance bike event. The headline stats for this hilly route in the Pyrenees were 800km and 19,000m of elevation gain. I hoped to complete it in 4-5 days.

“Flow not force” was my motto for the days on the bike. I felt determined to embrace my rhythm and move in ways that felt good to me. While I knew the event would be tough, the days demanding, I didn’t want to force anything. I didn’t want to exert pressure and force over my body or force myself into something I wasn’t feeling.

This got put to the test on day four when an old running injury resurfaced. I had bad knee pain. Continuing felt like forcing it. It felt like bad pain - when each pedal stroke grinds the bone in a way that feels bad, that feels damaging.

and so, as I walked my bike as I made a final call whether to continue or not with not much more than 100km remaining, I decided to scratch. To abandon. To put flow before force. I knew that continuing would force my knee on every turn and I didn’t want to put my body through it. and so, with tears streaming down my cheeks, I called it. I turned around, went back to the nearest town. and felt proud that I listened. flow not force, flow not force, flow not force.